PING CENSUS

The archetypes

Every profile the census can produce, and the exact ping behaviour behind each. Rules are checked top to bottom - the first match wins, so more specific archetypes sit above broader ones.

These are deliberately playful labels, not psychological assessments - see how it works for the method and its limits.

The Monk

Near-total ping silence. You have transcended communication; your team must simply feel your intentions.

Triggered when:

  • ping volume in the bottom 5%

The Silent Carry

Bottom-tier ping volume. You let your KDA do the talking - actions over words.

Triggered when:

  • ping volume in the bottom 18%

The Megaphone

Top-percentile volume across the board. Every thought you have is broadcast. Every. Single. One.

Triggered when:

  • ping volume in the top 3%

The Smoke Alarm

Extremely loud and mostly warning people. Technically helpful. Technically.

Triggered when:

  • ping volume in the top 10%
  • at least 32% of pings are danger (getBack, retreat)

The Drill Sergeant

High volume, heavy on coordination orders. The team WILL group mid, and they WILL hear about it.

Triggered when:

  • ping volume in the top 15%
  • at least 45% of pings are coordination (onMyWay, assistMe, command)

The Shotcaller

The generic G-ping is your entire dialect - attack here, look at this, move now. Context is the team's problem.

Triggered when:

  • at least 35% of pings are generic (command)

The Question Mark

Enemy-missing pings dominate your vocabulary. Half warning, half accusation, all passive-aggressive art form.

Triggered when:

  • at least 30% of pings are missing (enemy Missing)

The Cavalry

On-my-way is your love language. You announce every rotation like the arrival of a royal procession.

Triggered when:

  • at least 35% of pings are omw (onMyWay)

The Damsel

Assist-me leads your profile. You don't fight battles - you host them and send invitations.

Triggered when:

  • at least 25% of pings are assist (assistMe)

The Siege Engine

Push, push, push. Towers fear you; teammates who wanted to back and buy fear you more.

Triggered when:

  • at least 22% of pings are push (push)

The Berserker

All-in pings well beyond reason. Every skirmish is a chance for glory, every glory a coinflip.

Triggered when:

  • at least 20% of pings are allin (allIn)

The Crossing Guard

Get-back and retreat pings on repeat. Your life's work is stopping teammates from walking into traffic.

Triggered when:

  • at least 40% of pings are retreat (getBack, retreat)

The Lamplighter

Ward-focused pings - placing, clearing, demanding. You wage war against the fog itself.

Triggered when:

  • at least 36% of pings are wards (enemy Vision, visionCleared, needVision)

The Doomsayer

Your dominant message to your team is: something bad is coming. Often correct.

Triggered when:

  • at least 38% of pings are danger (getBack, retreat)

The Lighthouse Keeper

Wards, vision-clears, and missing enemies. You don't ping players or plays - you ping map intelligence. A lone beacon in the darkness.

Triggered when:

  • at least 34% of pings are vision (enemy Vision, needVision, visionCleared, enemy Missing)

The Warlord

All-in and push pings dominate. You don't suggest plays, you announce them.

Triggered when:

  • at least 30% of pings are aggression (allIn, push)

The Controller

OMW, Assist-Me, and Group pings in constant sync. You attempt to conduct four uncoordinated solo-queue players like a fine orchestra.

Triggered when:

  • at least 48% of pings are coordination (onMyWay, assistMe, command)

The Broadcaster

High volume, balanced mix. You narrate the game in pings, and the team listens. Probably.

Triggered when:

  • ping volume in the top 20%

The Minimalist

Quiet but not silent - a few well-chosen pings, deployed like rare currency.

Triggered when:

  • ping volume in the bottom 32%

The Diplomat

A balanced, healthy ping diet. No weird obsessions, no passive-aggressive spam - you use communication as intended by the developers (a rare breed).

Triggered when:

  • everyone who matches no rule above

Which one are you?

Run your census